I hear grumbling about overused wedding music, often from musicians, having to play the same pieces wedding after wedding, as if it were the bride’s (or couple’s) fault. I’m not convinced this is the case.
It’s true that wedding planning guides don’t include much variety. But how much encouragement and support for using distinctive music do musicians provide?
I know some musicians who do strive to help couples find the perfect music. But there are others who seem content to recommend the same pieces already heard over and over again.
I thought about this after my recent article on how couples can better prepare for meetings with their musicians. Maybe the musicians can also better prepare for meeting with their couples! Keep reading for some tips on making your discussions more effective.
What is it couples want for their weddings?
Couples are looking for help when they come to you to discuss their wedding music.
True, some will ask for the “same old” wedding favorites. If that’s all they know about, can they be blamed? For some couples, these familiar choices may be exactly what’s right for them and this is perfectly fine. But for many couples, these may be the only music choices they know about and it’s up to you to help them see that they have other choices (as I try to do with Wedding Music Unveiled).
Regardless, what they want is a ceremony with music that is special, personal and memorable. And they’re coming to you for help in achieving this.
You have a choice
Do you just give them what they ask for or work with them to figure out what they really want, to learn about their tastes, and to help them explore the vast amounts of great classical and sacred music options they truly have (but don’t know about)?
The second option takes more of your time. It is certainly easier to play the same favorites wedding after wedding after wedding.
The choice is yours: but you’re doing both them and yourself a disservice if you don’t help them. They’re turning to you, the expert, for help after all!
There’s not much room for complaining about overused music if the couples aren’t given the chance because you didn’t speak up.
Some tips for more effective wedding discussions
Here are some tips to help you provide a greater level of service to couples. Some may require a little work. Some will save you time:
- Work to expand your wedding music repertoire. Learn new music or just think about pieces you already know that might make good wedding music. Articles here can help you as can our church wedding music guide.
- Save time by making a performance binder of all your wedding music repertoire. When a couple comes to you, instead of pulling out dozens of books, just pull out this binder with photocopies you can quickly play from.
- Save even more time with color-coded tabs, sections in the binder (or separate binders for a large repertoire) for prelude/pre-service music, processionals, recessionals, and even vocal music.
- You can organize pieces by music genre or whatever works best for you.
- Find recordings of pieces in your repertoire—such as in the iTunes Music Store (as we often do on this site)—and provide couples an electronic document with links when they schedule a meeting with you. Ask them to come prepared with their initial likes and dislikes as a starting point for your discussions.
- Organize your usual wedding music planning discussion topics by bullet points.
- Save even more time by expanding this into a written document couples can read in advance.
- Possible topics can include what church wedding music means, your church’s policies, etc.
- Consider directing couples to our church wedding music guide and you won’t need to write anything!
- Give couples a checklist to work from. Again, Wedding Music Unveiled can help you out. Our checklist which comes with our our guide, is a valuable tool.
More ideas?
Please share ideas you have for helping couples more effectively (or more efficiently!). I’d love to hear your thoughts.
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