Are you afraid of your wedding music?

Planning the music for a wedding ceremony—especially your wedding ceremony—can be a daunting task.

For some, planning a church wedding ceremony can be especially frightening. You probably feel more intimidated than if you were planning something not as formal. A church wedding comes with so many requirements, traditions, and expectations, including music you might not know anything about.

Don’t let it be more complicated than it needs to be!

With a little help, it won’t be so bad. If you don’t yet have a copy of the checklist that comes with our church wedding music how-to guide, the information below can help you get started. But the checklist has six pages of detailed things to keep you from forgetting to do (and the guide explains it all and provides lots of tips). All this will help make your ceremony music a joy-filled and memorable experience!

There’s lots to do, but here’s how to keep it all straight

Up till now, you might not have been sure how to even get started. It’s true that there are many little things to be concerned about (as is also the case with other parts of your wedding day planning).

Fortunately, ceremony music planning can be broken down into a series of steps, so that you need not worry about everything all at once. This approach breaks down your work into manageable chunks.

These steps guide you through the planning process but are not intended to be a strictly-followed procedure.

In other words, they’re meant to help simplify your planning, not complicate it by only allowing you to address something at a certain time.

Step 1

Start off with the basics. Where are you getting married and when? How big will the ceremony be? Learn what your church’s expectations are regarding music. Figure out what you want the general character of the music to be. How much music will you need to find?

Step 2

Start exploring music ideas and make some initial choices. Roughly piece together ceremony music choices that give you the ceremony character you’re looking for.

Step 3

Get the musicians who will make this ceremony music reality for you!

Step 4

With your musicians, finalize your music choices (picking out additional music first, of course).

Step 5

Keep an eye on things in the weeks and months until your ceremony nears to make sure that progress is being made.

Step 6

Take care of all the last-minute details.

Is that all?

If that’s all there is to do, you might be wondering why I have this whole site dedicated to the subject of planning church wedding music and offer a guidebook to help you.

Obviously, it’s the details. None of the steps are complicated from a common-sense perspective, but knowing how to accomplish them is another story.

That’s where I want to use our experience as church wedding musicians to help you sort it all out.

You can learn more about easily getting started by checking out Church Wedding Music 101: 3 free videos that introduce you to the topic of church wedding music!

Get the guide.

Think about these steps and whether you have the expertise to do them all yourself.

Remember, the steps apply even if you want your musicians to pick out music for you (well OK, I guess if you want the musicians to pick out everything for you, then two of the six steps can be skipped).

Think about getting the guide to help you. The checklist, sample ceremonies, and hundreds of music ideas ought to be enough to convince you. The money-back satisfaction guarantee means it’s my problem, not yours, if it’s not helpful to you!

© 2011, Wedding Music Unveiled. All rights reserved.

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©2012 Wedding Music Unveiled. All Rights Reserved.

Not starting your planning early enough to accomplish everything is the biggest cause of wedding music stress.

Church musicians I’ve talked to report that too many couples wait too long to contact them about wedding music arrangements.

One or two months before the wedding is very late to be starting to talk about music and does not leave couples with many options.

For more on making arrangements for wedding music, see these articles on meeting with your church and your church musician.

You’ve got a lot to do

From the couple’s perspective, this is completely understandable. It’s easy for couples to be preoccupied with other wedding day details. There is a lot of work to do.

I also hear that many couples whose weddings are very close find themselves way behind and scrambling to accomplish everything.

Do you really know all that needs to be done?

This got me wondering whether couples really understand what all needs to be done for their wedding music. It would be a shame for them to be thinking all along that they’re on track when they’re actually unknowingly way behind schedule.

If you’re working with my downloadable wedding music planning checklist or following my recommended wedding music planning phases, you’ll know up front what needs to be done. If you have my Guide to Selecting Memorable Church Wedding Music you’ll also know how to do everything.

Here’s everything you need to do & why you should start early

In the interest of preventing this kind of stress, here’s a quick, high-level summary of everything that needs to be done for music for a typical church wedding ceremony:

• Find out your church’s expectations about ceremony music
• Determine your primary source of music (e.g., organ, piano)
• Sort out basic ceremony and wedding music details with your church
• Learn what moods & styles you prefer
• Figure out how much music you’ll need
• Schedule planning discussions with at least your primary musician
• Select your music for the entire ceremony (get ideas from your musician(s) as necessary)
• Get church’s approval for your selected music
• Line up other musicians
• Figure out what special instructions to give to your musicians
• Figure out what your musicians need from you or the church (if they’re from outside)
• Coordinate multiple musicians (especially if they don’t know each other and will be playing together)
• Keep musicians up to date with all your music selections (especially as you make changes). Make sure your plans will work.
• Get music and musician information into your wedding program

All this takes time

This is a lot to accomplish in only one or two months—especially when those months are packed full with other preparations.

Make sure you leave yourself enough time to do everything by starting early!

If you need more evidence of how much needs to be done, see my article “Wedding Disasters: Lessons From Stories of Wedding Music Gone Wrong”.

Don’t forget: the things you need to do aren’t the only things that take time.

• Sometimes musicians need to learn your music.
• Maybe they even need to first find and buy sheet music.
• At the very least, they’ll need time to practice.
• Just finding a convenient time to meet with the church and with musicians can chew up several days or weeks.

Less stress, don’t settle

Wedding music is only one part of your wedding day plans. But you’ll stress yourself out if you wait too long to work on it.

Don’t put yourself in the position of having to settle because there isn’t time to do it the way you’d like.

How far before the wedding you should start working on wedding music will differ with each wedding and what you have in mind. But as a rule of thumb, plan to be working on it at some level no less than six months ahead.

Again, find some way to get organized in your planning. Ideally, get a copy of my wedding music and guide. It will simplify your work by taking the burden of figuring it all out and keeping track of it off your shoulders.

Let’s hear your thoughts

What do you think? Do you think couples wait to start thinking about ceremony music because they’re too busy, because they don’t realize just how much they’ll need to do, or some combination?

Did you start your wedding music planning earlier? How has that made a difference for you?

Share your thoughts! I’d love to hear them and get your feedback.

© 2011, Wedding Music Unveiled. All rights reserved.

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©2012 Wedding Music Unveiled. All Rights Reserved.

I have a tip for you today that could save you some money. And perhaps quite a bit of stress too!

It’s really easy to get ahead of yourself when starting to plan your wedding ceremony.

After all, there’s so much to do and you’re tremendously excited.

Don’t get ahead of yourself
I suppose I could say that my tip is to take a deep breath, don’t get ahead of yourself, and do things in a logical order.

That would all be true (and I can help you with that too), but I can also help you by being more specific.

Check that your ideas for wedding musicians are OK before hiring them

The tip is really simple: Before you hire ceremony musicians, check with your church to see what their policy is regarding outside musicians.

“Outside” could mean musicians that aren’t members of the church or it could mean musicians that the church and its staff are already comfortable working with.

Lots of different church policies

Some churches won’t allow non-member musicians.

Some churches have their own preferred musicians that must be used. If you want a violinist, they’ll give you a name or two to contact.

Each church has its own policies and there can be lots of variations. Some churches may have no policies at all. You won’t know and should not assume what will be OK until you’ve talked with them.

It’s even possible that a restriction might be a matter of practicality, rather than policy. Maybe you want a string quartet, but the church happens to be smaller and knows from experience that there won’t be room.

Imagine going out and hiring a string quartet, including paying the deposit to get them to reserve the date and then talking to the church two months later and finding out it won’t be possible. Imagine the stress this would cause you. Imagine the lost deposit money.

I can help you

I want to save you from this.

So start with the church, then move on to other details.

This is exactly approach I recommend in my church wedding music checklist and my Guide to Selecting Memorable Church Wedding Music (the checklist comes with the guide).

I know many couples are anxious to “attack” their wedding planning with great enthusiasm. but doing things in a logical order prevents extra stress, headaches, wasted deposits, and so on. Get yourself a copy of my Guide and use the checklist to keep yourself on the right track.

© 2011, Wedding Music Unveiled. All rights reserved.

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If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the wedding ceremony music planning you need to do, maybe you need some wedding music samples!

You’ve got so many decisions to make planning your wedding. Sometimes, you need a little help or inspiration. Sometimes that can be nothing more than seeing what others have done.

Here are sample wedding ceremony music listings. Maybe these examples will help you get past any feelings of being overwhelmed.

Ideas and inspiration from wedding music samples

These wedding ceremony samples are all from real-world weddings.

Regardless whose wedding they were for, how much (or how little) planning went into them, or how the pieces were selected, they are couples’ best efforts to put together meaningful ceremony music.

Don’t copy…seek inspiration

Don’t just copy them…that defeats the entire purpose!

Instead, look them over, listen to the music and find inspiration in them. Then make choices about what you like from amongst the many music selections you have in front of you!

++ Example Ceremony 1 ++

Processional: Debussy: Claire de lune

Hymn: “O Father All Creating”

Recessional: Bach: “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring”

++ Example Ceremony 2 ++

Prelude: Purifoy: Hyfrydol

Processional: Handel: Largo from Xerxes

Hymns:

• “Of the Father’s Love Begotten”
• “Lord, When You Came as Welcome Guest”

Recessional: Purcell: Trumpet Voluntary

++ Example Ceremony 3 ++

Prelude: Telemann: The Heroic Music

Processionals:

• (bridal party) Bach: “Liebster Jesu, wir sind Hier” (“Dearest Jesus, We Are Here”)
• (bridal) Reger: “Nun Danket alle Gott” (“Now Thank We All Our God”)

Hymns:

• “The Church’s One Foundation”
• “Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee”

Recessional: Handel: The Trumpet Shall Sound

If this is helpful to you, you’ll want to check out Wedding Music Unveiled’s Guide to Selecting Memorable Church Wedding Music. It includes over 30 pages of sample wedding ceremonies as a bonus document!

Share yours

What wedding music samples do you have to add? Help inspire others!

© 2011, Wedding Music Unveiled. All rights reserved.

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“I need to plan my wedding ceremony music and I don’t know where to start.”

Boy, have I heard this more than a few times!

If you are new here, welcome!

If you’re getting married in 2011 and just starting your wedding planning (or at least the wedding ceremony music), I’ll help you out by showing you what your next steps should be.

By the way, if you’re just recently engaged, congratulations!

This article will help you even if you know absolutely nothing about church wedding music.

I’ve got two lists for you.

First is a list of “getting started” tips. Second is a list of resources Wedding Music Unveiled has available here to help you. These are resources that will expand on the listed tips and go much, much further.

5 tips for how to plan wedding ceremony music (for a church)

• Understand what music in a church wedding means (hint: it’s neither entertainment nor background music)
• Get the basics out of the way before thinking about music. Don’t “put the cart before the horse”—know where your ceremony will be and what musical options are available to you before doing too much planning or you risk disappointment or having to do some of the work over.
• Don’t wait too long to get started. Too many couples put off dealing with music until a few weeks or maybe a month before the wedding. Don’t do that. Start now.
• Figure out what you want in your music and focus on that
• Figure out what approach you want to take to planning your wedding ceremony music. Your options:
  • DIY (do it yourself)
  • “Let my musician do it all”
  • A combination of the above

I’ve got a 6-step process that will take you from “getting started” right through to the ceremony. These 6 steps help you plan your wedding ceremony music whether you’re doing it all yourself or letting your musician do it.

Don’t be tempted by the “let my musician do it” approach. It does sound very tempting. But I’ve heard many couples express regret afterwards.

It’s not as attractive as it sounds, because there’s still plenty you’ll need to do if you want music that’s personal, memorable, and distinctive.

Unless you just don’t care about the music at all, you won’t get the results you want by not being involved. I recommend the hybrid approach: you figure out what you want and use the musician’s experience to help you get it.

Wedding ceremony music resources at Wedding Music Unveiled

Obviously, the tips above are just the “tip of the iceberg”. There’s much more beneath the surface.

Wedding Music Unveiled has lots available to help you regardless of the approach you want to take next:

• Lots of blog articles (We’ve got articles that expand all the tips above. Start with our “Getting Started” articles then browse around or search for more
• Our free video course “Church Wedding Music 101” will help you with all the basics, including explaining the 6 steps I mentioned above
• Follow us on Twitter or check us out on Facebook
• If you’re ready to just get down to work and, need a detailed wedding checklist, hundreds of music ideas appropriate for a church, sample wedding ceremonies and lots, lots of tips from church musicians and more, check out our comprehensive church wedding music guidebook/e-book.

Do you have enough to give you an idea how to start planning your church wedding ceremony music? I hope so! I hope I’ve pointed you in the right direction.

If you still need more (and most people will), stick around. Add this site to your blog reader using our RSS feed. Better yet, before you forget and do anything else, sign up below for my free email newsletter and get immediate access to the Church Wedding Music 101 videos.

© 2011, Wedding Music Unveiled. All rights reserved.

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©2012 Wedding Music Unveiled. All Rights Reserved.

My gift to you: A few great wedding processional song combination ideas.

A majority of couples these days have two wedding processional songs: one for the bridal party (or sometimes the wedding party) and one for the bride herself.

When a couple chooses this direction, they have to find two pieces of music that go together well in a complementary way (because the pieces are played back-to-back). I doubt too many couples would want two pieces of music that clash.

I like to help couples plan their wedding music, especially when they have little experience with classical music and more especially because of this, they as a result feel a little unsure of themselves.

Combinations of wedding processional songs

Here is a handful of pairings of pieces that I believe work well together as wedding processionals:

• Telemann: Grazioso and Brahms: St. Anthony’s Chorale
• Charpentier: Prelude to the Te Deum and Telemann: Grazioso
• Campra: Rigaudon and Bach: Wachet Auf
• Telemann: Grazioso and Handel: March from Occasional Oratorio
• Stanley: Trumpet Voluntary in D and Boyce: Trumpet Voluntary (Largo Andante)
• Bach: “Sheep May Safely Graze” and Boyce: Trumpet Voluntary (Largo Andante)

Or make your combinations of wedding processional songs

Feel free to use any of these for yourself. Or better yet, try to put some of your own choices together to see how they sound. Remember, it’s all about expressing joy “in your own words”.

Where to get more help

If you need music ideas to choose from, just like these, my Guide to Selecting Memorable Church Wedding Music e-book contains hundreds of music ideas (on top of all the great tips and our popular wedding music planning checklist)!

Or if you just need some help getting your wedding planning started, check out my Church Wedding Music 101 video “mini-course”. It’s free, and you can get immediate access with your email address below (or on the side of the page near the top or by following the link).

If you’ve heard any great pairings of wedding processional songs, I’d love to hear about them. It’s exciting to hear the results of other people’s creativity.

© 2010 – 2011, Wedding Music Unveiled. All rights reserved.

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©2012 Wedding Music Unveiled. All Rights Reserved.

Take a deep breath, close your eyes and imagine your church wedding ceremony.

When it comes to music, what images (or sounds) do you envision?

I want to help you figure out your approach to your wedding ceremony music. So try this little exercise:

Take a deep breath and think into the future. Picture your upcoming wedding ceremony. Imagine that for your ceremony, you carefully chose each and every piece of music—each was exactly what you wanted to be heard at that moment.

Imagine how each piece perfectly sets the desired mood. Imagine how people react to what they hear and see. Visualize their feelings of joy, excitement and inspiration.

Close your eyes and do this now.

What do you think theyʼll say afterward about your ceremony? How will they remember the ceremony? How long will they remember your ceremony? How will you remember the ceremony?

Now repeat the exercise, but this time imagine that not so much thought was put into the music.

The musical selections chosen were nice, but not all that special—some of the same pieces you frequently hear at other weddings. Maybe you even asked your organist or other musician to pick some music for you so you wouldnʼt have to. Maybe the music blended into the background.

Do you think that comments and memories (both yours and othersʼ) would be different in this case?

If the answer is yes, do you want to design a ceremony that yields the first reaction rather than the second? If so, Wedding Music Unveiled is ready to help you.

If you havenʼt already, try the imagination exercise mentioned above right now. What did you learn? Do you think it affect the way you will plan your ceremony?

Church Wedding Music 101

I invite you to check out my new introductory video “mini-course”: Church Wedding Music 101! Look in the box along the right-hand side of the page near the top for more information. Itʼs something you could be watching seconds from now if you get started right away!

© 2010, Wedding Music Unveiled. All rights reserved.

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Have you thought about having your soloist sing a hymn at your church wedding ceremony?

Normally, a soloist would sing a special “wedding song” and normally a hymn during a wedding ceremony would be sung by everybody, as it would be during a church service.

But, a church wedding hymn sung by a vocalist, rather than all your guests, can be still be appropriate and add a nice touch. It can also be the solution to a problem or two you might be encountering!

Lots of tips for you!

I want to share some tips for making this go smoothly for your wedding ceremony or maybe even just help you decide whether to try it.

Tip 1

A hymn sung by a vocalist can be a way to include a favorite hymn when you donʼt think guests will actually sing.

Tip 2

A hymn sung by a vocalist can be a great solution to your musical needs if you have a last-minute change in vocalists or other last-minute needs.

Tip 3

If youʼre struggling to find a good church-appropriate piece of music to sing, a hymn is a quick solution worth considering.

Tip 4

Be sure to check with the church (or your church musician) for help selecting a hymn appropriate to the occasion.

Tip 5

Rather than just having it sung right out of a hymnal, try to find an arrangement of the hymn when possible to “spice it up” a bit, since it will just be one person singing. Your church musician is your best source of help in finding an arrangement. But if no arrangement is available, a hymn can be sung from the churchʼs hymnal. In this case, though you might only want to sing a few key verses.

Tip 6

“Ring of Gold” is a great collection of church-appropriate wedding lyrics set to well-known hymn melodies.

Tip 7

Even if you will be using a hymn sung by all the guests, you can still have a vocalist sing one or two verses. If you do this, donʼt make it the first or last verse of the hymn.

Tip 8

Even when theyʼre appropriate for weddings, not all hymns are good choices to be sung by a soloist, just as not all hymns make good church wedding hymns. Talk to your church, your musician(s)–including the organist who will likely be the soloistʼs accompanist for help.

Donʼt miss out on more great ideas

In my next email newsletter (October 26), Iʼll provide a list of great hymn choices. Be sure to add your email address in the box below (or above, near the upper right hand corner of the page) before then to avoid missing out on the opportunity.

Wrap-up

I hope you have some good ideas to think about now if this is a direction youʼre considering for your wedding.

For ideas on hymns that everyone can sing, be sure to check out the article “Church Hymns for Weddings”.

And of course, as always, Iʼd love to hear your thoughts! Leave a comment here or catch up with me on Twitter or Facebook.

© 2010 – 2011, Wedding Music Unveiled. All rights reserved.

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©2012 Wedding Music Unveiled. All Rights Reserved.

A guaranteed way to help make your wedding ceremony planning go smoothly is to know your churchʼs policies.

Not knowing the policies can lead to extra work, extra discussions, possible disappointment or even frustration.

Find out the policies early

I recommend finding out your churchʼs policies as soon as possible.

The best time is when scheduling the wedding.

Most churches will just tell you, but some churches donʼt have policies, or donʼt even have them written down. So, be prepared to ask. Donʼt assume “anything goes” if they didnʼt give you guidelines in your first conversation.

Make sure you understand the policies and donʼt be afraid to ask questions. It doesnʼt do you any good if you misunderstand them.

Polices may be misunderstood, but in the end, theyʼre there to help

Sometimes you may not like them or may want to do things differently. Even in these cases, it still ends up being better for you if you know what they are up front.

But, instead of thinking of policies as rigid rules that constrain you, try to think of them instead as your guide to making things go smoothly.

Churches often have many couples knocking on the door wanting to get married there. Itʼs only natural to have policies as guidelines that spell out how things should be done, especially for couples that are unfamiliar with the church.

The policies should be respected. Remember, the church isnʼt a venue. Itʼs a house of worship. They also often rely heavily on volunteers for getting things done.

Also, remember that even places that are venues and there specifically to serve you, such as the hall where youʼll have your reception have policies over what can and cannot be done. There too, policies provide guidelines to help things go well.

Types of policies

Regarding music, most church policies address these aspects of a wedding ceremony:

• Musicians
• Payments for musicians
• Instruments
• What music can be played

There is plenty of variation in these areas from church to church–even more reason to become familiar with them.

Iʼm not a fan of all the possible variations…and there are many

There are plenty of church policies that even I donʼt like! For example,

• Some churches will simply tell you that the music has to be “classical”,
• Some will just give you a sheet of paper with a handful of music selections and tell you your music has to be from that list,
• Some churches donʼt care what music you play at all!

In the first example, not all classical music is appropriate and it shows a lack of understanding of what makes music appropriate for a church.

The second case severely limits creativity and makes wedding ceremonies “cookie cutter” clones of each other. Itʼs impersonal and encourages an “I donʼt care about the music” attitude even though from the churchʼs standpoint, itʼs efficient, helps make compliance easier for you and is easier on musicians.

Thereʼs so much wrong with the third approach that I could write an entire article on it!

Summary

Make sure you know and have a good understanding of your churchʼs policies before you start planning your music. Understand there are reasons behind them. If they donʼt have a written summary to hand you, take good notes when they describe them to you.

Be sure to come back to Wedding Music Unveiled for help with your church wedding music plans. I can help guide you through the process. Why not take the time to bookmark the site, add it to your RSS reader or sign up for the free email newsletter for more great tips, ideas and information?

What have you found?

Have you encountered any policies that you found to be especially helpful to you? Or that you found particularly vexing?

Please leave a comment so we can all benefit from your experience.

© 2010, Wedding Music Unveiled. All rights reserved.

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Here’s a money-saving tip for you concerning your wedding ceremony musicians (or, at the very least, a potential money-saving tip).

I was reviewing two earlier articles on instrumental wedding songs and how much instrumental music to have in your church ceremony and this tip came to mind.

If you want to include an instrument, let’s say a violin, in your ceremony, think about how much of the ceremony you’ll realistically want the instrument to play (refer to the second article listed above).

If including the instrument is something you absolutely want and you couldn’t dream of foregoing it, then please include it!

But, if saving money is on your mind and you’ll realistically only have the instrument play a couple of pieces during the ceremony, then maybe dropping the instrument entirely is something you should think about.

If what you really want is to hear a certain piece played by that instrument, try asking your primary musician (such as your organist or pianist) if there’s another arrangement of that piece of music that could be played on the primary instrument.

In this case, you can save some money by not having the solo instrument while still having the beautiful piece you want to use in your ceremony.

Note that I’m not against including musical instruments in your wedding! I think they’re an incredible addition to your ceremony.

It’s just a tip for those needing or wanting to save some money on their wedding costs. In today’s economy, that’s a very real concern for many.

If you want to save some time too, take a few of the dollars you save and download your copy of my church wedding music guide which has loads of music ideas and walks you through the planning process, from the day you say “Yes!” to the day you say “I do!”

© 2010, Wedding Music Unveiled. All rights reserved.

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©2012 Wedding Music Unveiled. All Rights Reserved.